GIRL AT PLAY PRODUCTIONS - by Alex Beauchamp

I'm asked a lot to be in books, to review books, to promote other's books and 99% of the time I decline. Everyone and their mamma seems to have a book nowadays and from what I've seen, a lot seem to just be riding the creative bandwagon which I hopped off long ago.

The thing is, I'm highly creative but I'm also business and it seems that books either address one or the other. Also, a lot of self-employed/creative books geared towards women tend to lack "meat" - they go for making a person feel good with words like "juicy" "blessings" and offer ideas that aren't appealing to me like pink markers, morning pages, breathing deeply and dancing wildly (ok - I like the last one). For someone like me who is a do-er, I want to be inspired with advice I can actually take from people who not just dish it, but have lived and are living it (I can't take another self-help guru with a messed-up life promoting how to live and work creatively!).

Bitter much? Yes but I'm sure you'll agree that there's a lot of bad books out there. And when you're starting out you might be tempted to buy them all (I almost did!).

That is why I am so, so, so thankful that Lauren Bacon and Emira Mear's new book, The Boss of You, is almost here (you can pre-order - so do!).

Over 5 years ago, Lauren and Emira ran an amazing site called Soap Box Girls which let women talk about what women talk about but also had tid bits on business (they really highlighted women-run business) politics and crafting. It was a great zine ahead of it's time. I was so in-love with what these women were doing (running their own graphic business on top) that I asked them to be profiled on Another Girl at Play. Lucky for me they said yes and a great friendship started.

It was in this interview that I received the best bit of business advice I've ever received: Don't undersell yourself!. Women undersell themselves on so many levels that to read this from them really, really stuck. And I've always asked for what I'm worth and have never settled financially or with projects. That's thanks to them.

They now run the site "Boss Lady which has lots of great info. It was also the base for their Boss Lady Panel at SXSW last year that I, along with Jenny Hart and Vickie Howell, were able to be a part of. The five of us meshed so well and we offered great advice and stories - some of which are found in The Boss of You.

Months ago, Lauren asked me if I'd review a proof of the book and if I liked it, would I send a blurb to the publisher. I read the book in one night because I kept thinking, "yes, yes, exactly! This is how it is. Oh I never thought of that. Great advice!" So yes, I wrote a blurb!

Whether you're starting an internet based business, something crafting or a brick a mortar store, this book is something you need - and I don't say that lightly. It doesn't talk down to you and it's not dry. It's personable with real advice to get you rocking out. Isn't that what a great book does?

I get asked a lot about publicity; how did I get so much? Why is my name/site everywhere? What did I do? How do I market? Who do I know? When I received yet another email about it, I realised I hadn't ever really addressed it and so here is the question and my response.

My reply:
I think the basic reason I've received so much constant publicity has to do with timing and need. When I began GirlatPlay.com in 2001 to talk about taking the leap from Corporate America to freelance, there just wasn't a lot of personal blogs out there and there definitely weren't any blogs documenting the business process like mine. People had "sites" that said what they did or newsletters that made their work "polished" but most sites were impersonal and didn't showcase the reality of starting your own business. I created Girl at Play based on my need; I wanted the info and thought I couldn't be the only one who'd be interested. And apparently I was right!

The site and my words just struck a chord with people which lead to a lot of work for me; I've never queried or marketed my work or site. It's all been word of mouth. I write from the heart, I write without thinking about an audience, I do what I love to do and I work really, really hard so that not just people reading will talk about me but those who hire me will talk, too. I think because I focus more on the work and sharing information, there isn't a sense of me trying to sell something to people or an air that is stand-ofish. The site is relateable but more importantly I think, useful. And that's why it continues to do well and why I continue to benefit from having the site.

However, had I started the site this year, things would probably be different because there are so many people blogging, so many women running their own business, and I think that it could be very easy to get caught up in the marketing and competing aspect of it all - which for me never, ever works. The more I worry about what everyone else is doing and how things look, the less I'm inclined to do or the more generic my work comes. I didn't read other sites when I first started so they weren't in my brain. I limit my blog reading and surfing now so that I can focus on what I can do. I think that's the trick - make sure you know who YOU are, what your truth is and how you are useful. Don't worry about competing, marketing, & PR at first - worry about getting stuff out as authentically as you can because if you're copying someone or doing something just to get PR, you'll always be compared to others and your audience won't be able to distinguish you from someone else because they won't care enough to. Just rock everything out as passionately as you can so that people will talk and keeping hiring you.

To this day I don't have a PR person though I'm probably going to change that in 2008 not because I want more PR but because I need someone to handle the incoming queries for me (I admit to being bad about this because I'm not attracted to media attention, it just comes).

I'm not sure if that's helpful to you or not. I don't write business plans, I don't over think it, I don't worry about the site or my audience. I just do what I need to do because at the end of the day, that's all I have. And it's worked so far.

* I don't know what this site is! But it's a great example of having my name out there without me putting it out.

I love when companies allow their employees to be seen publicly in creative, cheeky, fun ways like the "holiday video" above. When you allow your employees to be human and have fun and then share that fun, you create sparks for coworkers and clients.

Any company that calls itself creative or social needs to share both of those things publicly as much as possible and not just through one dimensional presentation (no, no PowerPoint!).

Finally the podcast from the panel I did at SXSW in March is up. Listening to it I felt really proud (yes, even with the embarrassment of realising I talked about vomit) of all that we said in it. The advice that Emira, Lauren, Jenny and Vickie shared I think is really valuable and I hope the fun we had really came through.

Mighty Girl has a great little post up about advice she'd give to highschoolers (found via Boss Lady - love that site!). My favourite bit:

Last week at SXSW I was on a panel called, "Boss Lady." At the end of that panel a young woman approached me with the question of how to start her own company. At the moment she was working full time, had a really busy life and a family that depended on her to keep those two things going.

I offered her the idea of treating her new business as a part-time evening gig; working after all her other things had been taken care of. Her face squinted up at this. This, she said, seemed a little hard because she was already busy. I gently explained that working on your own is one if the hardest things you can do – especially at first. The effort, sacrifice and bravery required are often more than when you start a job with a company that has everything laid out for you. The cushion of a 40-hour work week with weekends off, sick benefits and coworkers to tag team with does not exist. Her face squinted more because she didn't like the sound of all that work; that's not what her idea of being self-employed was.

She had the "9-5 grass is greener" syndrome. The one in which you imagine that if you were on your own, everything would be easy peasy or at least easier. You'd have freedom, creativity, total control, late mornings, time off, possibility. And while you do get to have these things, there is a price to pay for it and that price is not for everyone.

So I suggested that perhaps she wasn't made to be an entrepreneur and I could tell she didn't like that answer because she was not happy where she was. And the opposite of unhappy is happy so the opposite of corporate must be freelance, right? Wrong.

I know a lot of people who work for corporations, company's and star ups that are extraordinarily happy because they have found the right fit and the right company. These people know how they work, what they want to do and then target companies and other people that match their values, ideas and work ethic. And these people who go to offices each day are happy office people – they're sometimes happier than a lot of self-employed people who struggle every day.

I asked the woman if she liked the company she worked for. No, she said. I asked if she even liked the role within the company. No, she said. I asked her if she had thought of defining who she was, what she could do and then taking that to a company that matched and she said no. She hadn't thought of going to a different company with a different job. She had believed (as I once had), that every job would be the same. Every office would be the same. And the only solution to cubicle hell would be to leave.

It was the answer for me at the time, but it's not the answer for everyone. Especially someone like her who really needed financial security to meet so many responsibilities and who also did not want to really work all that hard on something else. But when the idea of finding a different company in a different area and taking on a different career came to her, she smiled and shook her head "yes" for the first time in our conversation.

Sometimes when a person isn't satisfied with something they tend to daydream about the total opposite - if you're single you think being married would make you happy. If you have children that are driving you crazy you think about being childless. If you're in a job you hate you think about going on your own. But I don't think swinging to extremes is ever a really good idea because it's usually just you reacting and not really thinking. You'll end up with the same issues (perhaps more) if you just go to the opposite instead of figuring out what would really work best.

There are great things about working for someone else just as there are great things to working on your own. If you're deciding weather or not to become an entrepreneur, writer or artist, you need to be honest about the amount of work that you'll have to put into it without outside help – especially until you can afford to hire an assistant, a manager, an accountant or land an agent. You'll have to ask if you're prepared to work more than 40hours a week (and it's true, you'll be working in an area you love so perhaps it won't feel like work, but then you run the risk of blurring the line between work and play. Burn out can be a problem). You'll need to ask yourself if you require financial stability which can be hard to come by, especially when you're first starting out. And you'll have to understand how you work – because no one will be handing you work and giving you yearly reviews. You're your own boss.

If you need freedom, creativity, the need to be of service, be independent, run your own ship but can't quite make the leap to freelancer, see how you can rearrange your current life. Can you switch to another job within your company, can you go to a different company, can you work 4 10-hr days and have Friday off, can you go part-time, can you work in an entirely different area, can you work for an entrepreneur or a start-up to gain experience?

Going out on my own was the right thing for me to do at the time and it's worked out extraordinarily well. All the challenges have been so completely worth it because the rewards were more than I expected. But it's not for everyone. I think we all want to do work that we love and feel good about it at the end of the day. And for some working on their own is the way to do it whilst for others it'll be nothing but a miserable time. Vice versa for working for someone else. The trick is just to be truthful about what you need, how you work, and what you are willing to do. Maybe that's starting your own company or maybe it's working for someone else.

Neither is better than the other – it's just a question of what works for you.

Women today make up nearly half of the total workforce in [the U.S.]. Over the past thirty years, women's income has soared a dramatic 63 percent. Forty-nine percent of all professional - and managerial - level workers are women. Women bring in half or more of the income in the majority of U.S. households - a growing trend that made the cover of Newsweek and was front-page news in many of the nation's newspapers. Women-owned businesses comprise 40 percent of all companies in the United States. There are more women than ever before who can count themselves among the country's millionaires, more women in upper management, and more women in positions of power in the government.

Ninety percent of women who participated in a 2006 survey commissioned by Allianz Insurance rated themselves as feeling insecure when it came to their finances. In the same survey, nearly half the respondents said that the prospect of ending up a bag lady has crossed their minds. A 2006 Prudential financial poll found that only 1 percent of the women surveyed gave themselves an A in rating their knowledge of financial products and services. Two-thirds of women have not talked with their husbands about such things as life insurance and preparing a will. Nearly 80 percent of women said they would depend on Social Security in their golden years. Did you know that women are nearly twice as likely as men to retire in poverty? - Women & Money: Owning the Power to Control Your Destiny by Suze Orman

So there you have it - both the good and bad news about women and money. We're making more of it, there's more opportunity out there for us, it's just when it comes to keeping it, making it grow, or getting more of so many are failing.

Often when there's talk of making a living as an artist, the focus is on how you feel, the journey, the blessings. Art and money seem to be exclusive of each other for so many people. Not for me. I want to be creative but I also want to make a great financial living as well as have a great retirement income. Being happy drives me, doing what I love drives me, but if I do not financially make it, if I do not look after the money I make and invest it wisely, than I will not be happy and I will most likely lose the ability to choose what I do for a living. I think a lot of women - especially creative women - don't look at it that way.

When I began blogging in 1996 (before there was the term "blogging), everything I wrote and created online was hand-coded. There was no "publish" button to make things easy, no archiving system. There wasn't any other blogs out there so linking and building community wasn't really easy. But I believed in writing and putting things out there so I kept going.

In 2001 when I left my 9-5 gig to freelance, there wasn't other artists blogging about freelancing, creating, dealing with the day-to-day struggles so I decided I would. I wanted to share information to help someone who might be in the same position as I but, like myself, could not find the info.

Now, in 2007, blogs are everywhere. Everyone and their mama has one (my 63 year old mother just signed up for one!). It's now become acceptable to blog and, in some areas, weird not to. There's some blogs we've come to depend on for information or entertainment; we check these blogs daily, wanting more updates - quicker, faster, more! Because blogging has become a way to reach a large audience, advertisers are wanting to get in on the action. Having a "sponsor" never used to be an option but I'm actually glad it's become one. For someone who wrote for years and years without receiving a direct financial benefit (I reference direct as in being paid for each visitor to the site. I've made a living indirectly from this site by landing jobs), it's nice to be financially recognised for the work that I have and continue to put in.

And for some bloggers, blogging has turned into a full-time job because there's an audience that craves their words. And for those bloggers, advertising is how they are paid for those jobs. After all, don't most of us work to be paid? How many people go to work, come home and then say "man, so nice that I put in all that effort and received nothing!"

You might think for the people/sites that update a lot, ads might be OK but you might still hold prejudice against smaller blogs or sites that advertise. You might think it interferes with content that the author "sold out," that the ads are ugly, that it removes the legitimacy of the blog. I believe these are ridiculous reasons and usually have less to do with the actual advertisement and more to do with personal beliefs and judgements.

One of the highlights for me at this years SXSW was Dan Rather's Keynote. It spoke a lot about truth in media which is something I think about a lot as both a reader and a writer.

I found it very enlightening to hear the differences in reporting from twenty years ago and now. The biggest difference that I found was how at one point reporters banded together. If a reporter asked a question to say the President and the President didn't really answer it, the next reporter would have said, "Mr. President, you didn't answer So & So's question." Now, if that happened the next reporter would just ask a new question - no one holds the President accountable for answering it. Journalists to a large degree, have become afraid to stick up for one another or press questions or find the truth. And, as an audience, we have become lazy about questioning what we read and if it's the truth.

Hearing this keynote inspired me to really write as organically and truthfully as I can. And I've been thinking about advertising and how that plays into it and I think if you have personal integrity, if you keep at something that is important to you, if you believe in truth and true creativity, then nothing should get in the way - not working for a big news corporation, a small corporation, an advertising company, or for the President. It's all about personal responsibility and beliefs. And I just love the way Dan Rather puts it all together.

I receive a lot of emails asking to work for me. A lot. I would say out of the thousands I receive, perhaps two of them I would even consider if I had jobs available, which at the moment, I do not. The letters I receive are almost always unprofessional, written to a BFF or from a "fan" point of view. A lot of them talk about "feelings" and "blessings" and the "journey they want to take with me." I have people pleading, begging for a chance at something they think I have and that if I gave it to them, everything would be great.

Then I have people who want to write for the popular Girls Guide to City Life and yes, I do need writers there. However, it's been hard to find great people because out of the hundreds of queries I receive again maybe only two are worth looking at because they did not follow the guidelines.

It's not that I don't receive queries from talented people - I do. There's degree's and experience coming from everywhere but somehow, all that goes out the door when it comes to the application process. The people who query almost never query the correct email (which is SUCH a pain because this site and that site are run separately and to switch emails and deal with it - well, I'm not going to). They never follow the guidelines and never submit the right kind of writing. A lot of people come across as insecure "please? Could I maybe write? I don't write good but um, I'd like to if I could have a chance? I'm nice. My mum says so. Honest!"

I'm creative and, for the most part, like a relaxed atmosphere. It's true that I have a chaise in my office for napping, I drink a lot of tea, I wear a lot of pink but I also run a business. And when I talk to people, I make sure I'm professional, I'm on the ball, I have the info they need and nothing less. I work hard, follow the rules at first (don't think of even breaking them before you've worked with people) and that's why all the work I get is referral based. I'm put together so people know they can trust me. They see me as creative but also as someone who gets the job done. I think a lot of people who want to run creative business forget the "business" part of it - especially women. They think if they're nice that should be enough - it's not.

When I have people apply for a job and write to the wrong address, I ignore it. If they don't follow the guidelines, I delete. If they send me a business proposal that is terribly weak it's out the door. I'm busy - I don't have time to weed through potential and I don't think anyone else does either.

I understand that when a person is starting out, you hope to be "discovered." When I was young I used to think each time I walked past an on-location movie set that somehow the director would see me, come running over and say, "That's her! That's the talent we're looking for!" I never got one movie job that way; studying the industry, connecting with the right people, working my ass off on every shoot or in every development meeting - that's what got me in and kept me in.

It's frustrating on my end because when I delete all these bad submissions I feel as though I'm destroying a little bit of hope in someone when I do. But at the same time, I don't want to be "nice" and just say, "Sorry love, not today" because that doesn't help anyone get any better.

I've said it many, many times that it's great to have a dream but just dreaming doesn't make things happen. You have to do to be and there's just no way around it.

1. Be professional and put together. You can still have personality in your email/query (and people love when you do) and be professional. Don't write as you would to your mother or girlfriend but to a stranger whose respect you're trying to get. No smile's, no LOL's (I get that a lot), and please, for the love of everyone involved, no "blessings."

2. Know the person and/or company that you're applying for and figure out how you will add value to them. Inexperienced people always want a mentor, a guide, someone to show them the way. I can tell you that while I'd love to do this, I do not have the time to teach someone. But if an inexperienced person says, "I know how to file, to edit, to code to something you really need" then I would consider them because then they're not a drain but an asset.

3. Follow the rules. There are guidelines for a reason people. Nothing pisses an editor or potential employer more than someone thinking they can "get around the rules." I cannot tell you how many people write to me at this site for jobs I've posted elsewhere.

4. Be committed. If you start a job, finish it. Give it your all while you're there - even if it's not always 100% what you want to do. Trust me when I say you learn from every job. I don't complain about corporate America anymore because without that experience I don't think I'd be as successful as I am today. I learned a lot about marketing, meetings, communicating, structure, finance, and PR from jobs I thought weren't my passion. Think of something you're doing as a semester at college; it'll teach you something so you can stand on your own someday.

[Larry] KING: Now you tried out for [Dream Girls], right.

[Fantasia] BARRINO: Tried out for the part.

KING: But you didn't beat [Jennifer Hudson], she wasn't on the same show you were on.

BARRINO: She was on the season with me. And like I said, I just felt like that part wasn't for me, it was for her. It wasn't my blessing. It was her blessing.

KING: But you beat her?

BARRINO: I did, I won.

KING: Have you seen the movie?

BARRINO: I did.

KING: What do you make of this?

BARRINO: She's amazing. She was amazing on the show. So much talent on the show. Me, her and Latoya, we're all still home girls. But even when we went on the show, I gave her, her props, she gave me props, I gave Toya props, they are both powerhouses.

KING: Because they were saying, Ryan, how did Jennifer Hudson not win? Nothing against Fantasia.

[Ryan] SEACREST: Nobody really loses if they become a household name on the show. If you make it into that final group, you don't lose. It's just a matter of what you can do with what you have been given. And, you know, I'm a big believer in hustling. I'm a big believer in work ethic. I'm a big believer in making things happen and being proactive. Any male or female that makes it into that group and I call it the group of household names, it's really up to them whether they leave on the fifth week or the last week. It's up to them to capitalize on a massive machine that is "American Idol." That momentum is really unprecedented and it's up to the individual to capitalize on it. And you know I believe in that. - From Live with Larry King, January 18, 2007

Why I love this conversation is because it does something not often done by people who achieve success - it has successful people discussing, supporting and showing that there is room for everyone to be successful - especially in the same field. There's no "failing" if someone else does what you do. It doesn't mean you're less than or can't support the other person. Some people have said that Fantasia "lost out" on the part to Jennifer Hudson, but as Fantasia so eloquently stated, it just wasn't her part but she has won in other ways. They're both signers/actresses and they will at times be up for the same roles, but if one gets one role and the other gets a different one, you can't really say someone is less than, right? They're both working, they're both doing what they love, and they're both successful. There's no need to bitch slap here and be unsupportive in case "they take your role."

I've known a lot of very successful people who, once they achieve success/fame, become very insecure about losing it. The thought of "losing out" to someone else is even worse and the things those with success do to try to "prevent" others from stealing their mojo is ridiculous. It's also completely pointless because what they fail to realise it that someone else having success does not take away from their own. It can actually help it.

I'm not competitive at all; I can spend hours bragging about my friends, connecting them to the right people, giving them ideas and so forth. I feel very free in talking about my ideas with people instead of worrying that they'll be "stolen" at any moment. Because of this, I think I've become more successful and enjoyed the road here so much more. Because when you opt to support others no matter what stage of the game you're in, it's bound to come back to you. Likewise if you try to make others look bad and fear the worse.

I wrote earlier about how I create money and how I save money but I forgot about one very important thing: how to give money.

Years ago I read the book, The 10 Percent Solution in which Marc Allen (a self-made millionaire) explains how one should give 10% of their income away. At the time, I didn't have a huge income and couldn't imagine giving anything away let alone 10 percent! But I like a challenge and so began the life of giving away 10%. I've never looked back and I've never missed the money I gave.

I make sure that I continuously give; I sponsor a woman at Women for Women because I want to help someone else achieve their dreams. I recently just purchased my first home and gave 1% of the purchase price to Habitat for Humanity to help someone else achieve that feeling of home ownership that I worked so hard for. My eBay sales always have 10% going to a different charity, I buy from eco-friendly and organic shops and commonly give money to bonafide charities.

Now, seeing red can be a scary thing for a business owner but the new Red program created by Bono and Bobby Shriver is an amazing way to get money to those who need it whilst satisfying your own buying needs. For those who might have a hard time with 10%, this is a great way to start.

But, try 10%. Try it. It is so easy to sit back and be pitiful and think of all you don't have and how hard it is for you and the struggles you face. But the easiest way to get out of the mind frame is to honestly get over yourself. Stop reading self-help books that make you constantly think about yourself and your state and instead, start thinking of others and what simple ways you can give back.

Running a successful business isn't just about fame and money - it's about what you do with it. It's about how you help others climb the ladder. It's about grace. It's about generosity. So even if you think you have no money, you have some. Do something with it. Embrace the power of money by being first financially responsible and then by being generous and then watch your whole financial and business world change.

Money is a funny thing - so many people want it, few seem to have it and even fewer want to talk about it. I'm not sure why so many people are so tightly lipped about money but I think being quiet contributes so much to why people don't understand it, are afraid of it or simply don't have it. I think people should be taught fiscal management in schools instead of about the French revolution (and I'm half French) and I think people should really talk about money so they can learn whether or not they should be self-employed.

How I financially survive is probably the second most common question I'm asked. I do not have a sugar daddy (you wouldn't believe how many people think this!), I do not have a trust fund, I do not have parents, and I don't have lotto winnings. So how do I survive financially?

When I stopped working in Hollywood months ago, I also stopped going to screenings and premieres. I thought because I wasn't in the industry anymore, I shouldn't go. I didn't need to network, I didn't need to see everything, I didn't need to keep up. I had equated going to movies with work which I had equated to no fun.

Despite adoring movies and working on sets, my opinion of it all changed because others kept telling me that what I was doing wasn't enough. If I wanted to be successful I had to take X job, get X title, meet with X person. As soon as I did that, they said, I'd have passed a level and it'd be onto the next one. I didn't really understand what they meant because I loved what I initially did and became confused by the attitude that movie making wasn't fun - it was business! And all that is one of the reasons why I stopped working. Unlike most of Hollywood, I wasn't trying to prove anything. I just wanted a little fun.

So when the work stopped, going to the movies stopped. But then a little while ago I was invited to a screening of Kinky Boots, and, since I'd once lived in Northampton where the movie is based and filmed, I thought I'd go just to see if I could see shots of the city. After the screening was a Q&A with the main actor which was just really thoughtful but also fun. It was after that screening I realised that I could go to a movie just for the pure fun and enjoyment and not because of where it'd get me or how it'd make me look.

Without having others opinions and meanings of movies or movie making involved in whether or not I enjoy something, movies began to once again equal fun. And in the past little bit I've gone to more screenings and premieres which, I must confess, have been not only fun, but useful. I normally wouldn't see these films if I had to pay to go and I'd miss out on so many great little films and little bits of inspiration here and there. So I've learned that by saying yes to the fun, I'm saying yes to always being open to learning which is really saying yes to being personally successful.

So last week I was invited to a of Little Miss Sunshine and, without knowing much about the film, decided to go. Besides, Toni Collette was going to be there and I think she's fabulous (and she was. So tiny!).

The movie was fun. I wasn't expecting to laugh as much as I did - and if you see the last shot of the film, you'll understand. But more importantly, the film also really got me thinking and confirmed even more.

The opening shot of the film is brilliant; it shows a man who is selling his "9 steps" to success. Using the mumbo jumbo self-help lingo, selling his words, using that selling tone. Then if flashes to his class - all six people. Then you follow this man home and his life is a mess, something I wrote about in a previous post which said a lot of self-help gurus sell their ideas but just don't live them. (Which is why I think you should only trust ideas that make sense to you and you can make work but do not trust anyone who just wants to sell you a book - or seven of them). He has a daughter who, by default, is able to compete in a beauty pageant called, "Little Miss Sunshine." The story is of this family and their trip to the pageant and then the pageant itself.

Win, win, win! Is what the self-help guru father is all about. He doesn't want to be a loser, his kids to be a loser, his brother in-law to be a loser. He can point out which steps make you a loser, and which ones make you a winner. Everyone in his family is annoyed by his 9-steps yet, they all hold the same belief that you do one thing to make you a winner, and one thing to make you a loser. Each person in the family holds the belief that if they could just do X, they'd be winners. And when those things don't happen, they fall apart. It's actually a really well-done movie with real characters that, if you allow them, will get you thinking. Especially since they go from holding one set of beliefs about what success and life's purpose is in the beginning to changing them in the end.

The interesting thing about the people in the movie is that the beliefs they first hold are common beliefs that most people have - and you can't blame them, really. After all, I think in America especially, we're set up for this. In school you're taught to pass tests. If you study and answer X, you're a winner. If you don't, you're a loser. If you do graduate from school - winner! If you don't - loser! If you go to university - winner! If you don't - loser! If you have a great big wedding before 30 - winner! If you're single at 32 - loser! If you get a job with benefits - winner! If you're an artists - loser! And so on and so on. We're told that if we do x, y & z, we'll be winners and so we try so hard to follow a pattern to make sure we "win" - after all, who wants to look like a loser?

Things are slowly changing and moving for me despite the fact I lack direction or an idea of what I'm exactly trying to do. And even if I did know what I wanted to do it wouldn't speed up the process. In fact, no matter how much clarity or motivation I get, I have to take it slow because of my three week cross-Canada venture which takes up most of August, and a move to a new city in mid-September. I'm not really able to focus on career at the moment or put down solid roots someplace. Everything is up in the air, especially considering that I don't know what my next step will be.

This is similar to a lot of people who are currently in jobs they don't like and wish to one day run their own business. They can't make the leap today so they have to sit and wait for the right moment to act. But that's perhaps where the similarities end - I'm not waiting to act or begin. I'm waiting to focus 100% but I'm not waiting to start.

Currently I'm restructuring my company; recreating my mission statement, looking into hiring a couple of people to work with, changing up a few sites, getting ready to launch another. I'm also taking in a lot of conversations with a lot of different people - seeking answers to questions I didn't even know I had. Despite not working in Hollywood, I'm still going to screenings and premieres, partly to keep myself inspired by movies and partly to just keep in touch with people for reasons I don't know today but might down the road. I'm reading books on wealth and financial responsibility so that I know what to do with the money I have and the money that will eventually come. I'm playing around with different things and also just taking a lot of time to play, hang out, and do nothing.

So even though I'm not able to do everything I want right now or even know what that is, I'm still working on it, slowly, behind the scenes, but working just the same.

I'm a huge believer that you get results based on the effort you put into something; if you put a lot of effort into being miserable, you will be miserable. If you put a lot of effort into being overweight, you will be overweight. If you put a lot of effort into complaining about your current life, you will remain in your current life. However, if you put a lot of effort into moving forward and taking care of things you can take care of right now, you will move forward - even if it's little steps done by even smaller movements.

If you want to have a different life but can't jump into it completely right now, do something - even if it's as simple as changing an old belief or picking up a pen to right down your company name. It's the act of believing in your dreams and then acting on them that will manifest more and more. Just thinking about it, dreaming about it, wishing for it, won't make anything happen. You must do something and keep doing something.

This will be a great habit to get into because trust me, once you do make that dream real there's no sitting back with your feet up on the desk doing nothing but eating bon bons. You'll be working hard, working more, and going through even more changes. If I just laid on the floor and flailed my limbs about because I don't know what I'm going to do come September, chances are, when September comes I won't be any closer to anything. In fact, I'd probably spiral down and be further away from achieving anything.

In order to grasp opportunity, one has to be prepared. So each day I do little by little - even if I don't fully understand why.

One of the most common questions I'm asked is how I work. People want to know my routine, what pen I use, what papers are best, what time I get up, what tea I like, how long my day is and so on. I tend to disappoint people when I say I have no schedule, no routine, no favourite pen, no sleep schedule (but I do go on for hours about tea). This is partly due to my personality (I don't like routine but I do love ceremony) and partly due to my career over the past year and a half (travel writing has me in different places every day as does working on film sets).

Often people who are beginning a creative career want to be able to cling to something that has been successful for others. It's why so many creative self-help books are sold. The Artists Way, for example, lays down the law for getting creative. It tells you what to do every day, it tells you how to think, to be. Other books tell you what markers to use or how to wear a boa properly. Better yet, other books tell you how to think each and every minute to guarantee you that success you so badly want.

The problem with these books and most self-help gurus, though, is that they don't tell you how to be you. They tell you how to become something that might work because it maybe did for them (I say maybe because I've met a lot of these successful self-help creative writer/artist people who have lives that aren't wonderful, authentic or even joyous. They just know how to market their work, they often don't know how to live it).

I find those kinds of books really disturbing and it quite literally breaks my heart when I see creative people trying to follow the footsteps of others. Why? Because being creative means you're creative. You do things how you do them. You think outside the box. You put random things together. You do things no one else has done. You play, you think, you dream, you work your ass off to make it real. But as a creative person you don't follow the foot steps of someone else.

Interesting little article on Caterina Fake and how Flickr came about. My favourite bit?

When someone posted on the Another Girl at Play Discussion List that they had just gone freelance and were in need of some advice, I had a small offering. I think it's valid advice for anyone and something that I believe works based on experience. So here's what I shared with her:

I believe success is based on two things: action and belief. If you truly believe you will struggle with paying rent, you will struggle with paying rent. If all you ever do is dream but never take any action, you will stay in an office job and never see your potential. If you believe you can make unlimited money and enjoy great things (I mean, really believe this from your core) and follow this belief with action (working, networking, taking risks, following up on all your ideas, baby steps and leaps), you will have unlimited money and enjoy great things. All it really takes is a true belief backed with plenty of action to get you to where you want to go.

While the formula for success is simple (belief + action = success), it's the following up that is often hard. So many people get caught up in their fears or in limiting themselves with their beliefs that they are not able to do anything and therefore can't get anywhere. Instead of taking their beliefs and moving forward with action, they run on the same treadmill propelled by self-sabatoge, excuses, fears, bad beliefs. These people generally have lots of great ideas but little to show for it. They need to step off the treadmill, think about their beliefs and then follow up with action. But the trick is not to just believing anything and doing everything but instead really understanding your beliefs (both personal and professional) and taking actions that match. That is why it is so important to really take the time to really understand what you believe about yourself, your work, and your life.

Ask yourself, what do you believe is your value? What do you believe you are entitled to? What do you believe you can accomplish? What do you believe you can do? What do you believe your future holds? What to you believe is your benefit to others? What do you believe is in you that needs to come out? And your beliefs need to come from your core, your gut, your soul and not from what you've read, have been told by your family or media or the part of the brain that makes you rationalise away what your heart is saying. It is important to note that beliefs are very, very different than wants. You can want something but if you don't truly believe it, no amount of action can manifest it. And ideas are very, very different than action. If you have lots of great thoughts but take not even one little action, you'll always be standing in the same place. So always be very careful and conscious about what you believe and the actions you take. If you don't believe you can do more than struggle, guess what, that's what you'll manifest. If you believe artists starve, you will manifest that. If you don't believe you can do anything, you won't.

Be mindful of the language you use; instead of staying, "I'll never have an art career like so and so" say "I'm going to have a great career that I'm working on right now". Also, don't ever play yourself or abilities down. I find a lot of artists almost apologise for what they're doing or their talents so people don't "hate" them. These same artists are almost always struggling and tend to feel guilty for a life they've worked very hard for. It is very important to stand up for yourself because if you keep yourself down, no one will want to help you stand up. Don't undersell yourself. Really define your worth. Be conscious of who you are, what you're doing, where you want to go long term. And by taking action accordingly, things will fall into place. You don't have to have all the answers or money right now or with each step but you do have to have a strong belief system and the desire for action.

The one last thing I would offer is to enjoy your work as you can but if you find down the line it turns out not to be what you thought or it isn't working the way you want to not get stuck on a path just because you think you have to. Success is also based on happiness and so sometimes one has to be flexible in their ideas to keep achieving success instead of holding tight to something that's not working. If you start out as a artist that works from home but one day decide you'd rather teach art to school children or you begin as a writer and then want to become a photographer, do it. Don't stick to a title, habit or idea that no longer works. Art and soul are so connected and both should constantly evolve so let them affect each other. Change is not only OK, it's natural and important.

One of the things I did back in 2001 when I first began my creative endeavors was to act on every idea and whim; I wanted to write, to paint, to draw, to make things, to do books, to do print, to sell images, to do and do and do. I was a kid in a candy store who had gone far too long without chocolate. This is something that a lot of new artists and creative people do - wanting to do it all and wanting to do it all right now.

This eventually left me exhausted, slightly overwhelmed, confused and a bit bitter. I did a whole bunch of things but none of them particularly well and not everything I did was something I actually liked. However, after a couple of years or trial and error, I realised what I was good at, what I liked and didn't. I stopped doing a lot of things and instead focused on travel writing and photography. For a few years I made a really good living at this and enjoyed it until I discovered that I missed being creative in other ways and i really missed working with people.

Rather than jumping into something else I took time off from work and ideas to just spend some time with myself and to see what it is I naturally do when there is no pressure to do anything. I came to the realisation that I adore design and photography and dealing with people and that writing on the side and sharing information is still something I like but not as the main focus. This lead me to redevelop my design site which allows me to work with great clients and focuses simply on design and photography - no print selling, no blogging, no writing. But to fill that writing and sharing need, I've created Girls Guide to City Life which will be launching next week and is a network of women travel writers from around the world writing about their city. This allows me to write about mine (L.A.), connect with people and and share information. A win-win which makes me one happy, creative and focused girl.

With focus, I can concentrate on these projects and do them well but more importantly, enjoy them. If something else comes along (for example, I'm writing a health article for a major women's publication coming out this winter and am doing a conference next spring) I can do them because they are wonderful additions to my foundation. I'm not scattered about doing anything and everything. I'm doing really what I love to do. Another great thing that came out of me focusing on my business was creating a mission statement. Asking myself what is it I really want to do? Who do I really want to work with? And what really are my motivations and values? This exercise was the most amazing thing I think I've done in the four years I've been working on my own because now if I am presented with an idea or opportunity, I can see if it matches my mission statement or not and I don't take on anything that doesn't.

Focus is often hard for artists but to really succeed, one has to have it. I don't have a structured day and no two days are alike but I know what I can do, what I'm good at and what I want to do and that makes all the difference in the world. { For those interested in my mission statement, you can read it here. }

I was watching Faye Dunaway's play "Master Class" based on the infamous opera singer Maria Callas (Unfortunately the play is no longer going and it's not available on DVD - I only had access to it because Faye dropped it off. You'll have to wait until she makes the movie). And of all the things I've heard about being an artist and what it means and advice given and stories told, I would have to say that this play is the only thing that ever shook my core and made the hair on my arms stand in attention. "This is not an opera! This is LIFE" she says to a student who sings without passion, and sings because someone told him he could and he thought it'd be a great job to make him famous. She goes on to explain to him that because she was living every moment that she sang, she was great. Because he goes through the motions and removes himself from it all, he isn't.

Why this struck me so was that often people tend to want to take on jobs that they think they should, or that they're good at or that will get them somewhere. They tend to think of work as work, art as art, and life as everything that happens outside. But life is everything. Life is the act of living. There is no separation from work, art and life. She goes on to say that a person should know what they want to do in life and live it. That to scatter the mind with half wants and ideas is a waste - choose something and go after it with life. And, when you subscribe to the theory that there is no separation between life and work then one really ought to only do what they love. Isn't that the truth.

When I first began the transformation into a company, it was all about me, me, me as I had felt the four years previous as a solitary writer had completely drained me. It was a one woman show that left me with no buffer from all the people who wanted things from me; from the 200+ emails a day from people wanting advice, to editors wanting stories, to reporters wanting interviews and people just wanting to know me to see where it could get them and other authors who wanted to steal my work (and often did). By the time I decided to stop writing full-time in 2004, I felt that my life had belonged to others; that I gave and gave and gave but hadn't been replenished.

Although all my work had always generated a lot of success and attention, I was never really satisfied because I felt often used, tired, drained, not fun and without passion. I didn't want to make that mistake again because I wanted to do something that energised and made me feel as good as the viewer. When I decided to change direction and create a company, all I could think about was how this time I wouldn't give everything away, I would get to be in charge, I would just do fun things and not worry so much about others and if my content had substance and that everything was real. Besides, I had worked so hard for so long that I just wanted to rebel against all that I had done and instead just have some fun without worrying about what it would all mean. I began a few projects just because they sounded like fun to me - something I desperately needed.

The projects were based on good ideas, some great content and were generating lots of interest. However after awhile of working on these projects I stepped back. I looked at what I was doing only to realise I wasn't really doing anything and that nothing could really come from my current projects because I didn't have a solid reason behind any of it. I was running so far from where I had begun that I went to the opposite side which is just the same situation flipped. It was then I understood that my work had to have balance between giving and receiving because without balance, there could be no success. I began to write down things that were important to me; helping people make the ordinary extraordinary, being useful, being creative, having freedom to do what I want, making money at what I love to do, enjoying life, having fun, helping others live their potential while I strive for mine, creating community, being authentic, cultivating success, doing work that matters. And when I looked at these values and compared them with the direction I was going in, I realised I wanted to keep on the same journey, but I had to take a different road. If I didn't, I would end up like before when I was a full-time writer; having success outwardly, but not from within. All the values had to be met to have full success. Balance.

By bringing my values into my projects, my projects began to change. I began to feel more connected, more excited, and a lot more energised. I began to meet with new people who were on the same vibe and their energy brought new life into the projects and helped me look at things differently. It made me think about more projects I want to do, movies that I'll produce down the road and books that will come out soon enough. Knowing what my reasons were for running a company helped eliminate a lot of self-doubt and fears. Fears such as success, enjoyment, being fluff, having too much fun and cultivating wealth. That last fear was lingering around because it was hard for me to fathom making a lot of money by just doing what I loved. Although I had made a great income as a writer and artist, I knew I could do more but felt perhaps that was wrong somehow; that making bazillions was evil, arrogant and just plain wrong. But I've realised it's not if it's made by the values one has and if the getting is balanced by the receiving.

I had once read about this idea in the book The Ten Percent Solution by Marc Allen and although I always believed the more you gave the more you received, I'd never quite done 10% - I always thought I might need it and was scared to give it away. Instead, I'd give time, goods and small amounts, holding back out of fear that I wouldn't have enough to give because I wouldn't make enough to live. But I know that with balance, passion and commitment, you can get what you want if you're open to it. And now I'm open to it and committed to giving 10% of all company revenue to charity. That's the first public change to go into place and one I think I'm most excited about.

There's a way to be fabulous and fancy but at the same time have substance and give back. The two don't compete, they compliment. Work hard and play hard. Balance, balance, balance, right?