GIRL AT PLAY PRODUCTIONS - by Alex Beauchamp

In preparation for the upcoming Boss Lady panel I'm participating in at SXSW, I had a long, wonderful talk with Emira today about business. Talking with her was really good; it'd been awhile since I talked business in casual, candid terms with a friend.

We talked about how we worked, some of the challenges we face, what we do about it, what's going on etc. Hearing her perspective on a lot of things was really helpful but the one thing that stuck out the most from the conversation is when she talked about "authentic marketing."

Both of us run our businesses very similar; we both only work on referral only. We've never advertised and we don't market. Everything comes to us by word of mouth and we both currently have more work than we can handle. The only time we have to really "market" is perhaps when someone calls us to work with us. Then we explain what we do but because we love what we do and are passionate about it, we don't have to "sell" ourselves - it's authentic marketing.

For me, this model is essential for my survival because I don't want to be out there hustling. I'm not good at it nor do I don't enjoy it. There are those that do but I'm not one of them. I love talking about the work or the process but I don't talking about the who or the what of it all - especially with people outside of the business arena where it doesn't matter. I don't want attention for who I know or what company I work with but I do want to be known for the work I do - and I feel they are separate.

[Larry] KING: Now you tried out for [Dream Girls], right.

[Fantasia] BARRINO: Tried out for the part.

KING: But you didn't beat [Jennifer Hudson], she wasn't on the same show you were on.

BARRINO: She was on the season with me. And like I said, I just felt like that part wasn't for me, it was for her. It wasn't my blessing. It was her blessing.

KING: But you beat her?

BARRINO: I did, I won.

KING: Have you seen the movie?

BARRINO: I did.

KING: What do you make of this?

BARRINO: She's amazing. She was amazing on the show. So much talent on the show. Me, her and Latoya, we're all still home girls. But even when we went on the show, I gave her, her props, she gave me props, I gave Toya props, they are both powerhouses.

KING: Because they were saying, Ryan, how did Jennifer Hudson not win? Nothing against Fantasia.

[Ryan] SEACREST: Nobody really loses if they become a household name on the show. If you make it into that final group, you don't lose. It's just a matter of what you can do with what you have been given. And, you know, I'm a big believer in hustling. I'm a big believer in work ethic. I'm a big believer in making things happen and being proactive. Any male or female that makes it into that group and I call it the group of household names, it's really up to them whether they leave on the fifth week or the last week. It's up to them to capitalize on a massive machine that is "American Idol." That momentum is really unprecedented and it's up to the individual to capitalize on it. And you know I believe in that. - From Live with Larry King, January 18, 2007

Why I love this conversation is because it does something not often done by people who achieve success - it has successful people discussing, supporting and showing that there is room for everyone to be successful - especially in the same field. There's no "failing" if someone else does what you do. It doesn't mean you're less than or can't support the other person. Some people have said that Fantasia "lost out" on the part to Jennifer Hudson, but as Fantasia so eloquently stated, it just wasn't her part but she has won in other ways. They're both signers/actresses and they will at times be up for the same roles, but if one gets one role and the other gets a different one, you can't really say someone is less than, right? They're both working, they're both doing what they love, and they're both successful. There's no need to bitch slap here and be unsupportive in case "they take your role."

I've known a lot of very successful people who, once they achieve success/fame, become very insecure about losing it. The thought of "losing out" to someone else is even worse and the things those with success do to try to "prevent" others from stealing their mojo is ridiculous. It's also completely pointless because what they fail to realise it that someone else having success does not take away from their own. It can actually help it.

I'm not competitive at all; I can spend hours bragging about my friends, connecting them to the right people, giving them ideas and so forth. I feel very free in talking about my ideas with people instead of worrying that they'll be "stolen" at any moment. Because of this, I think I've become more successful and enjoyed the road here so much more. Because when you opt to support others no matter what stage of the game you're in, it's bound to come back to you. Likewise if you try to make others look bad and fear the worse.

Since September, I've been shuttling between Austin, TX and Santa Monica CA. Last month, I added San Francisco to that list. This month I'm adding New York and Denmark, too.

In L.A. & NY I have business meetings which are exciting and interesting. I get to also meet up with friends and family. So I should be excited, right? It's all so jet setter and glamorous. Right?

But the preparation that goes into all of this is tremendous, especially since I don't have a support staff, a travel agent or someone to take over the workload while I'm gone (so I really have to hit deadlines and get things organised beforehand). Because I so often take on trips like these and live my life (seemingly) out of a suitcase, it's always go, go, go and do, do, do.

Last month in the middle of a work trip, I took two and a half days "off" to go to the Ritz Carlton at Half Moon Bay followed by an overnighter in Carmel. It was the first time I slowed down in years. With no internet, no computer, no writing, no mixing but just ocean, firepits, long dinners and lots of cafe's, I remembered what it was like to just be for a bit. But then I came back to San Francisco and it was once again go, go, go.

I love my life and the freedom I have with my work. I love that I am able to be selective about projects I take on and that there always seems to be a choice. I love the face paced world of technology, I love all the waiting on movie sets, I love all the deal making in development, I love writing and painting and preparing for gallery shows. This is why I work on my own but at the same time, the constant pressure of doing and not having a boundary for time off is still something I struggle with.

In the corporate world, I put in my 9-5 day with weekends off and vacation days. I don't have such structure now which is a double edge sword; I love being able to work from 11PM until 7AM but then when I sleep from 8-10AM I sometimes feel guilty or like I should keep going. I tend to work more hours now than I ever did for anyone else. The difference, though, is that at least I work a lot because I'm passionate about what I do and it really often does feel like play to me so I don't mind if I'm putting in 20hrs on a set (ok, sometimes I mind when it's a cold set and craft services runs out of coffee...)

My friend Alicia Paulson, who runs Posie: Rosy Little things, just wrote a wonderful post that mimics how I feel:

I don't know why I, too, tend to rush through things, or where that habit develops, or whether it's cultural, or contemporary, or timeless, or just plain human, and inevitable. When it comes to crafting, I assume it's further complicated because it's often, also, "working," for me. Like with any job, as fun as this one is, there are days when I just want to be done. Free to do my own thing. For which I always feel guilty. And so I rush it, looking over my shoulder, apologizing for taking the time. I think there must always be this conflict, when you turn what you love into what you "do." And when you work at home, the boundaries are further blurred, because they aren't really physical. Around here, the boundaries are pretty psychological. Lots of "work" happens on the "couch." But I feel like I rush things on both sides, the work and the play. I've talked about this before, but it's something I realize is a constant issue.

I've so often struggled with creating a line between work and play time and haven't, as of yet, figured it out. So perhaps it's just not something to figure out. I'm always a huge talker about how creative people often look for structure to feel "ok" and "secure" about themselves but then often fight it because we're creative and need to invent ways to be that work for us but then feel guilty for it and then look for structure. See the cycle? I hadn't realised I was somehow locked into, it too. With looking for a way to have "acceptable" work time and time off.

So perhaps then, the trick for me at least, is just to acknowledge that the line between work and play will always be blurred and that's OK. After all, I only take on work that I love to do so it's not really that bad a thing to work so much. But to be more in the moment of my work, to take some more time off, and to not just be go, go, go - that's the trick to practice.