Being of Use by Alex Beauchamp, Girl at Play

Hi Alex, I read your email newsletter and I just want to suggest that maybe you weren't satisfied with where you are because its all about you-- you quiting something, you wanting to be an artist, you wanted to break into Hollywood, etc. And you have accomplished all of this things. I admire that. There is nothing wrong about doing the things you truly want to do, because this is your life and decide how you want to live it. But perhaps this feeling of being lost is due to the fact that there is no greater cause behind it. It's always been about getting to know what you are capable of doing. About you proving, about you achieving. You know better than anyone else what your capabilities are. Many people havent realized their dreams, nor their capabilities yet. You are creative, talented, caring. I don't know you at all, but I can feel it in the tone of your blogs and newsletter. Maybe a higher cause in enriching the lives of other people will make you even more fulfilled about yourself. :) Kim

Hi Kim,
I totally, completely agree with what you've said and these have been my thoughts. I've worked without purpose the last year or so and that's been very hard for me because I don't like things being about me. No better way to feel useless than to not affect anyone. So yes, your thoughts are my thoughts and i'm working on it. Giving back is a huge thing for me - I just forgot it for awhile.
Alex

I first started creating web sites not to show anything off, but to be of use. I wanted to share a new viewpoint or offer great information I'd found elsewhere. I started creating this site and others like it to help women find their calling and become brave enough to do it. I grew up volunteering; helping handicapped children ride horses, blind children swim, or run errands for elderly people who couldn't get out. Yes I love to make money and that's something I work on and enjoy, but the purpose that I have that's made me money has been being of use.

But over the last year, I stopped being useful and became the Hollywood cliche of having everything be about me, me, me. I didn't realise it for the longest time because I did the Ten Percent Solution; 10% of my income went to charity, I became a Women for Women Sponsor, I donated artwork to fundraisers and went to a couple of charity balls. But I realised that's just money - that's not soul. That's not purpose. That's not personally being useful.

I went and stayed at a Chateau near Yosemite recently and it changed so many things for me. Despite staying in so many 5 star hotels around the world, this was the first 5 star property to get me to think. Why? It had a soul. The woman that created it and ran it hand picked out every detail; from the linens to the china to the little bookmark they put in your books at turndown. She went all over Europe to find just exactly the right thing for each room so that each guest felt special. Not in the Four Seasons way, but in a very intimate, personal, I've thought of you way. There was purpose to each plate in the room. There was purpose to her. And in turn, by staying there, I felt inspired with my own purpose.

It's one of the reasons I've come back to write despite the fact I thought I'd be on summer holiday. I need to have purpose and be of use or nothing feels right. Making money is easy, selling art is easy, getting a Hollywood Gig or a million hits on a site, easy. Getting out of your own head space and opening up enough to be of use to someone else? Well, that's a little harder isn't it. Especially when we can't see the "payoff" immediately. But the payoff is how we change and affect others for the better. It's knowing at the end of the day you did something no one else could. It's having a soul that touches someone else because you used it.

I think that's why so many people hate their 9-5 jobs. It's not that the jobs are bad but they're soulless. One doesn't feel very useful to others in so many jobs (being able to fix a copy machine for the staff doesn't count). So perhaps the secret is to being of use in other ways, in all ways, in our daily lives.

Ask yourself if you have purpose, if you're being of use. If you're not, ask yourself if you could be and then make some changes and see how that not only changes you, but everything else.

July 8, 2006 | Link to this | Filed in Everyday Play

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